Thursday, August 6, 2015
Tuesday, February 10, 2015
The Agape Love Ritual
This is the first guided meditation that I ever led. Adapted from Paulo Coelho's 'Blue Sphere Exercise' in the novel The Pilgrimage, this particular variation of the meditation is designed to be most powerful when performed in a group. However, I've found that many of the components of this ritual can be powerful additions to private meditative practices.
Originally written and read aloud on August 26th, 2014 at Trout Lily Farm in Madison, NC:
Agape is total love. It is the love that consumes the person that experiences it. Whoever knows and experiences agape learns that nothing else in the world is more important than love. Agape is so powerful that it can shake the stars and can change the course of history. It is a feeling that suffuses, that fills every space in us, and turns our aggression to dust.
During the millennia of Christian civilization, many individuals were seized by this love that consumes. They had so much to give - and their world demanded so little! - that they went out into the forests and desserts and isolated places, because the love they felt was so great that it transformed them. They became the hermit saints that we know today.
But you and I experience agape in a different form: ENTHUSIASM! For the ancients 'enthusiasm' meant 'trance' or 'ecstasy' - a connection with the Creator. Enthusiasm is agape directed at a particular idea or specific thing. We have all experienced it. When we love and believe from the bottom of our hearts, we feel ourselves to be stronger than any conflict, and we feel a serenity that is based on the absolute certainty that nothing can shake us in our sovereignty. This unusual strength allows us to make the right decision at the right time, and when we achieve our goals, we are amazed at our own capabilities! Because when we are involved in the good fight, nothing else is important; enthusiasm carries us toward our goal.
I love you all and have the deepest respect for what you are doing. I want to share with you an exercise to arouse your enthusiasm, to create a power that is going to expand like a blue sphere that encloses the entire planet. This is called the Agape Love Ritual.
"Please be comfortable and close your eyes. Be present to this moment, to this place, to the people, energy and spirits gathered here. Breathe in the remembrance of your divinity and sovereignty. Exhale your sorrows and frustrations. Breathe in the experience of being alive. Exhale gratitude for all the gifts of life.
Softly hum a familiar song from your childhood. Let your heart feel free and affectionate. Remember the enthusiasm you felt as a child. Allow the love that consumes to return.
Imagine that your heart is growing, filling this place with an intense blue light. Imagine that the blue light is a current, flowing through you like a shining, soothing river. This blue light begins to spread, filling this space, and spilling out into the spaces all around, expanding until it becomes miles wide in every direction. The blue light spreads to consume the homes of our families and friends, bathing everyone and everything in its shining, loving radiance. Eventually the blue light envelopes the entire country, then the continent, then the hemisphere.
Hum and sing more loudly as you see this brilliant bright blue light spread and spread until the entire planet is illuminated, a shining Blue Sphere. The loving power of the blue light covers every inch, fills every crevice and touches every living thing in our world. The blue sphere is the manifestation of the Great Love that goes beyond our day-to-day struggles. It reinforces and invigorates. It brings divine energy and peace. Your heart is open, spreading love. Feel it pulsing in unison with the bright blue sphere!
When your song is finished come out of your trance bit by bit, and return to the present moment knowing that the blue light continues to illuminate the world.
When you are ready, open your eyes and smile."
With love and gratitude,
-SB
Originally written and read aloud on August 26th, 2014 at Trout Lily Farm in Madison, NC:
Agape is total love. It is the love that consumes the person that experiences it. Whoever knows and experiences agape learns that nothing else in the world is more important than love. Agape is so powerful that it can shake the stars and can change the course of history. It is a feeling that suffuses, that fills every space in us, and turns our aggression to dust.
During the millennia of Christian civilization, many individuals were seized by this love that consumes. They had so much to give - and their world demanded so little! - that they went out into the forests and desserts and isolated places, because the love they felt was so great that it transformed them. They became the hermit saints that we know today.
But you and I experience agape in a different form: ENTHUSIASM! For the ancients 'enthusiasm' meant 'trance' or 'ecstasy' - a connection with the Creator. Enthusiasm is agape directed at a particular idea or specific thing. We have all experienced it. When we love and believe from the bottom of our hearts, we feel ourselves to be stronger than any conflict, and we feel a serenity that is based on the absolute certainty that nothing can shake us in our sovereignty. This unusual strength allows us to make the right decision at the right time, and when we achieve our goals, we are amazed at our own capabilities! Because when we are involved in the good fight, nothing else is important; enthusiasm carries us toward our goal.
I love you all and have the deepest respect for what you are doing. I want to share with you an exercise to arouse your enthusiasm, to create a power that is going to expand like a blue sphere that encloses the entire planet. This is called the Agape Love Ritual.
"Please be comfortable and close your eyes. Be present to this moment, to this place, to the people, energy and spirits gathered here. Breathe in the remembrance of your divinity and sovereignty. Exhale your sorrows and frustrations. Breathe in the experience of being alive. Exhale gratitude for all the gifts of life.
Softly hum a familiar song from your childhood. Let your heart feel free and affectionate. Remember the enthusiasm you felt as a child. Allow the love that consumes to return.
Imagine that your heart is growing, filling this place with an intense blue light. Imagine that the blue light is a current, flowing through you like a shining, soothing river. This blue light begins to spread, filling this space, and spilling out into the spaces all around, expanding until it becomes miles wide in every direction. The blue light spreads to consume the homes of our families and friends, bathing everyone and everything in its shining, loving radiance. Eventually the blue light envelopes the entire country, then the continent, then the hemisphere.
Hum and sing more loudly as you see this brilliant bright blue light spread and spread until the entire planet is illuminated, a shining Blue Sphere. The loving power of the blue light covers every inch, fills every crevice and touches every living thing in our world. The blue sphere is the manifestation of the Great Love that goes beyond our day-to-day struggles. It reinforces and invigorates. It brings divine energy and peace. Your heart is open, spreading love. Feel it pulsing in unison with the bright blue sphere!
When your song is finished come out of your trance bit by bit, and return to the present moment knowing that the blue light continues to illuminate the world.
When you are ready, open your eyes and smile."
With love and gratitude,
-SB
Sunday, January 4, 2015
Transitioning from Fall to Flight
Dear Friends, Family and Fellow Truth-Seekers,
At the time of my first post, I assumed that my “Leap of Faith” was my terrifying decision to leave the comfort and complacency of my home, my friends, family, and steady source of income to explore parts of the country I had never visited, be amongst different (albeit only slightly) cultures of people, to see new landscapes, and experience life as a traveler. What I didn’t know at the time and have come to understand is that my real “Leap of Faith” was collapsing, unlearning, and dismantling my entire belief system. While this process was (and continues to be) terrifying and undeniably uncomfortable, collapsing the old paradigms has allowed me to align my perception with Truth in a more tangible way. Truth cannot be destroyed.
In my original post, I made the following statement:
I would like to clarify that I only truly believe three things. One: Every single one of us as human beings perceives the world differently and has a unique life experience. Two: Every single one of us as human beings want or are looking for something, and we don't really know what that thing is. We may believe that if we accomplish this, or get that, or have this experience that we'll be FINALLY be happy... but we won't. Cover it up all you want with money, drugs, sex, religion, politics, relationships, entertainment, material things, but something will always be missing. There will always be a natural discomfort... unless you can figure out what that thing is and unite with it to be complete. Three: That thing is totally obtainable for every single person on the earth. Doubtless, many already have.
While traveling in early 2014 my disillusionment grew with each passing day, each passing city, each passing experience. While anxiety and depression continued to plague me psychologically, I seldom had the time or energy to be bothered by them. This was in part because traveling is a full time, interactive experience. You’re constantly trying to figure out where you’re going and how you’re going to get there with very little knowledge about the area. Where are you going to sleep tonight? Where are you going to get your next meal? Where are you going to go if you have to use the bathroom? There’s just no time for anxiety and depression. And that, perhaps, is a major reason that I was able to somehow separate myself from those feelings and begin to learn to work with them.
With each drastic change in location, my internal landscape experienced an equally drastic shift. For the first time in many years, I became highly skeptical of my intellectual mind. I was paying attention to my intuitive feelings and giving my emotional responses validity. I no longer associated my intellectual mind as being my Seat of Consciousness, but nor could I entirely depend on intuition. This is how I began to form a relationship with what I call my Higher Self Aspect. This is a partially spiritual, partially psychological concept, and let me stress that this is only a concept, or a way of talking about a thing. I know that many other folks out there have similar (or completely different) ideas and understandings that are equally valid. It’s important to me that everyone understand that I am describing my perspective, not declaring something to be true. When I am making a declaration of Truth, you’ll know it.
When I started this blog a year ago, I labeled my initial posts “Leap of Faith.” This title was totally appropriate because I was struggling with major disillusionment. I had glimpsed the world from a perspective that vastly contradicted views I had held for much of my entire life. I was confused, scared, manically suffering from anxiety and depression, manically overwhelmed and underwhelmed, and completely unsure of almost anything. The only tangible feeling that was consistent enough to give me any sense of balance was that I had stumbled onto something big, a mystery that my heart longed to unravel. In my original blog post I referred to this feeling by declaring that “Every single one of us as human beings want or are looking for something, and we don't really know what that thing is.” At the time I knew very little about this thing that was tugging on my heart strings, and frankly, one year later I have accumulated far more new questions than answers.
At the time of my first post, I assumed that my “Leap of Faith” was my terrifying decision to leave the comfort and complacency of my home, my friends, family, and steady source of income to explore parts of the country I had never visited, be amongst different (albeit only slightly) cultures of people, to see new landscapes, and experience life as a traveler. What I didn’t know at the time and have come to understand is that my real “Leap of Faith” was collapsing, unlearning, and dismantling my entire belief system. While this process was (and continues to be) terrifying and undeniably uncomfortable, collapsing the old paradigms has allowed me to align my perception with Truth in a more tangible way. Truth cannot be destroyed.
In my original post, I made the following statement:
I would like to clarify that I only truly believe three things. One: Every single one of us as human beings perceives the world differently and has a unique life experience. Two: Every single one of us as human beings want or are looking for something, and we don't really know what that thing is. We may believe that if we accomplish this, or get that, or have this experience that we'll be FINALLY be happy... but we won't. Cover it up all you want with money, drugs, sex, religion, politics, relationships, entertainment, material things, but something will always be missing. There will always be a natural discomfort... unless you can figure out what that thing is and unite with it to be complete. Three: That thing is totally obtainable for every single person on the earth. Doubtless, many already have.
Truly, this statement was incomplete, although not incorrect. But it created a foundation for my perception to expand. Little did I know that by writing those words I was launching massive changes to my perception.
While traveling in early 2014 my disillusionment grew with each passing day, each passing city, each passing experience. While anxiety and depression continued to plague me psychologically, I seldom had the time or energy to be bothered by them. This was in part because traveling is a full time, interactive experience. You’re constantly trying to figure out where you’re going and how you’re going to get there with very little knowledge about the area. Where are you going to sleep tonight? Where are you going to get your next meal? Where are you going to go if you have to use the bathroom? There’s just no time for anxiety and depression. And that, perhaps, is a major reason that I was able to somehow separate myself from those feelings and begin to learn to work with them.
With each drastic change in location, my internal landscape experienced an equally drastic shift. For the first time in many years, I became highly skeptical of my intellectual mind. I was paying attention to my intuitive feelings and giving my emotional responses validity. I no longer associated my intellectual mind as being my Seat of Consciousness, but nor could I entirely depend on intuition. This is how I began to form a relationship with what I call my Higher Self Aspect. This is a partially spiritual, partially psychological concept, and let me stress that this is only a concept, or a way of talking about a thing. I know that many other folks out there have similar (or completely different) ideas and understandings that are equally valid. It’s important to me that everyone understand that I am describing my perspective, not declaring something to be true. When I am making a declaration of Truth, you’ll know it.
The Higher Self Aspect, as I have come to know it, is the essence of one’s True Self in the psychological landscape. The Higher Self Aspect does not experience fear, judgment, anger, or resentment. It does not suffer from trauma, abandonment, self-loathing, or jealousy. The Higher Self Aspect’s only attributes are Compassion, Curiosity and Love. It is the Aspect of me that transcends duality and is connected to the Source of Creation. It is the best version of me that has ever existed or will ever exist. And it is from this wonderful Aspect of my Self that I started to collapse everything I had ever known, to undo all agreements, and destroy every bit of the internal structure I had spent my short lifetime building, because instead of building on a foundation of love, I had been building on a foundation of fear.
It’s hard to grasp in totality the concept of the Higher Self Aspect without also discussing the Ego. Without going into too much detail, I will try to briefly describe my perception of the Human Egoic Consciousness. The Ego is a powerful intellectual “program” that is dominantly motivated by self-preservation. It has been hugely effective in the survival and procreation of our species. We can thank the intellectual Ego Brain for its service to our current mastery of technology, psychology, physiology, agriculture and language. However, because self-preservation is the Ego’s highest tenet, it thrives on controversy, conflict, and competition. The Ego embraces moral relativism and social Darwinism, enjoys participating in the cutthroat activities of capitalism and the social pecking order, and becomes violently infuriated if it thinks it’s been cheated or lied to in any way. The Ego is self-righteous, uncaring and self-absorbed. It is based in the intellectual mind with no understanding of any emotional or intuitive information, and cannot fully comprehend concepts like beauty, love, and empathy. It is often jealous of the love and compassion embodied in the Higher Self Aspect, and may attempt to find ways to synthesize these qualities through manipulation and coercion. Left unchecked, the Ego can manifest unethical and even psychopathic behavior patterns. Once upon a time, when my Ego was in complete control of my psychological landscape, these harmful, competitive, manipulative, coercive actions were MY actions. Over time as I continue to work with my emotional energies, my Ego has begrudgingly relinquished some control of my seat of Consciousness, making way for my Higher Self Aspect to govern my thoughts, actions and emotions. I am not suppressing my Ego, or trying to get rid of it, because as I have said, the Ego is a fantastically useful piece of intellectual equipment. But in order to find true balance, I realized, the Ego must operate in reverence of the Higher Self.
If this information resonates with anyone, please message me. I would be more than happy to direct you to some guided meditations for engaging your Higher Self Aspect and minimizing the Ego.
From the mind blowing revelations I have just shared with you, and numerous others, my leap began to feel less like a fall. It began to feel more like I was gliding, gracefully and purposefully descending to a place of grounding. This brings me to the next chapter in my journey, and the next chapter in this blog: “Flight of Knowledge.” This is the last post I will be writing under the label “Leap of Faith,” as I feel this chapter has been closing for some time, and that I’m well into the next chapter already. My first post for this new chapter is already underway and I hope that I will be able to share it with you all soon.
As always, thank you for reading, thank you for loving, and thank you for your participation in our shared experience. With love and gratitude, Namaste.
-SB
From August 29, 2014 - Cultivating Holistic Context at Autumn Equinox
This is a copy of message that I sent out four weeks before Autumn Equinox. At the time I wasn't ready to make some of these thoughts completely available to everyone, so I sent it only to certain people that I was comfortable being vulnerable with. However, as I continue on, it becomes more and more important for me to "own" my perspective and to be careful not to suppress it out of fear. I post this now with love, because even though we are now becoming entangled in the thick of winter, I believe this wisdom continues to be relevant. With love and gratitude.
-SB
-SB
-SB
Hello friends. As I travel on my spiritual journey, I often see or experience mystic patterns that arouse my enthusiasm, that I want to share with others, but that are a little too “out there” to share on any sort of mainstream social media. There are many that I love and with whom I have wonderful relationships, but that do not embrace, or even acknowledge, a spiritual path. I find no fault with them for this. After all, the experience of every single soul is legitimate, and a diversity of perspectives, ideas and lifestyles is one of the beautiful things about being a part of the human species. In the last several months I have had wonderful conversations about spirituality with almost all of you included in this thread. You might say that I have been quietly developing my practice, sporadically bouncing ideas off of one of you or another, momentarily enjoying connection and vulnerability, before closing the curtain and retreating into solitude. You who are included in this thread are the open minded seekers, and with each of you I feel some connection. In this message I wish to share something with you all.
Summer is coming to a close. Autumn is coming. It is a time of transition. On September 21stthe Earth’s axis will be exactly perpendicular to the Sun, and the hours of day will be equal to the hours of night. On the 8 Shields Model, our planet and all the species she harbors will be in the western quadrant, a time of abundance, a time to be of service and a time of celebration. And for those practicing Kabbalah, it is a time for a very important spiritual ritual: the annual pruning of the Tree of Life.
It was Kabbalah and the Tree of Life that helped me to understand the importance of autumn and the transition that occurs during this time. My mentor explained this process to me one year ago: in the summer, when the Sun is brightest, we are full of energy, full of ambition, full of love, full of hope, full of life. Our frequencies are naturally higher, and our spiritual connection to the Earth and all her wonders are more tangible. The brightness can be so intense that it’s blinding, giving us the opportunity to grow outside of ourselves. Many of us feel the most optimistic and the most powerful during the summer months, fed by the radiant energy of the Sun.
As we approach the end of these euphoric summer months, we start to feel a decline in our spiritual connectedness. Many of us become disheartened, some of us experience a subtle sadness, and others crash into outright depression. The brightness ebbs, and in the dimmed light, we begin to see things with new clarity. Our weaknesses and sorrows and frustrations, which were outshone in the summer Sun, begin to come back into focus. It is a cycle that occurs year after year as we resist the evaporation of the blithe of summer. This is why the ritual of the pruning of the Tree of Life is so important.
I am only vaguely familiar with the mystical teachings of Kabbalah, and I do not claim to have an understanding of the various branches of the Tree of Life. But I do recognize and have a deep appreciation for the way the mystics take advantage of this time of transition. This is an opportunity to see ourselves and aspects of our lives with profound clarity. Take some time to look back over the last year and the direction that your life is taking. Be honest with yourself about how you feel about the decisions you’ve made. Take this opportunity to see yourself in this moment with absolute clarity. And make the decision NOW about the direction you want your life to take. Decide for yourself what is working and what’s not. Decide NOW what will be pruned away and what you will cultivate.
As I said, I first did this exercise for the first time one year ago. It was one year ago that I made the firm decision to prune away my job in the restaurant business and cultivate a different path. It was one year ago that I decided to cultivate my own spirituality, and prune away contrary agreements that I had carried around for years. That’s not to say that my entire life changed overnight. Over the last year I have made many mistakes, risen from and fallen back into bad habits, lost my way, doubted myself and my decisions, and even almost given up. But one year later, and as I prepare once again to prune my tree, I can look back with pride and see just how far I’ve come, how much I’ve grown, and how much more fulfilling my life has been since I performed this ritual.
I share this with you all for two reasons. Firstly, this is part of my pruning ritual this year. I want to prune away my spiritual disconnection from other people and cultivate spiritual connectedness. I admit that I have been ashamed of my spirituality. I have been secretive and hidden it because I have been afraid of being judged, misunderstood and criticized. It is my intent to prune away the fear and shame. I will instead encourage myself to be vulnerable with those I can trust, and cultivate spiritual community with similarly open minded spiritual seekers. Secondly, I know that many folks on the spiritual path are sensitive to energies, both emotional and planetary, and I hope that this ritual may be as helpful to others as it was to me.
Thank you to all of you on this thread. Thank you for your openness, your love, your enthusiasm, your vulnerability. I thank you for allowing me to be vulnerable with you. I invite you all to participate in the pruning of the Tree of Life ritual this coming Fall Equinox. I invite any and all of you share with me and with each other what you intend to cultivate in the coming year. With all the love in my heart, Namaste.
-SB
Friday, April 4, 2014
WWOOFing at Seabreeze Farms
A lot of folks have sent me messages asking various questions about how things are going on the farm and what sorts of things are going on here. Here are some pictures I've taken. There are pictures of the green houses, the pig shelters, the chicken and duck pens, the rabbit cages, the garden, the goat, and scenic views from the property. I'll try to put together a more detailed description of farm life in the future. But for now, enjoy these pictures! The first picture is the trailer where I sleep....
Thursday, March 27, 2014
On Vagabonding and Camping Alone
Friends and family, it has been a long time since I last posted. In fact, I don't think I've posted anything since I've been in California. Let me tell you, it has been a journey. I have been thrown completely out of my comfort zone just about every day. Some of it has been really good. I've gotten to spend time with people that I almost never get to see. I've gotten to experience their worlds and enjoy the comfort of their company. I have gotten to see the universal message of love and how they interact with it in their lives. I have also met and interacted with literally HUNDREDS of strangers, many of them living hollow lives, unhappy, fearful, anxious, angry, and neglected. San Diego, hands down, has the highest homeless population of any city I've ever seen. As a vagrant and a vagabond myself, when I look upon these poor souls, their pain mirrors my pain. I have learned a lot from being a 'prince among vagrants.' Having a healthy amount of savings to rely on, I have never had to worry about resources. Transportation, lodging, food, clean water...all a credit card swipe away. Most of the 'poor souls' I've encountered are literally living their lives at the whim of life. I've honestly experienced an irrational self loathing at my own situation: total freedom without fear of wanting for resources. But I can't dwell on this for too long. Everyone is having the experience they're having for a reason (including me), and I respect the path of the true vagrant as the path he has decided to travel. I have no desire to fight the system, and it would be hypocritical for me to criticize the vagrant for his lack of motivation to improve his situation. It's simply a reminder that the longer I travel and let my savings wane, the closer I come to truly knowing what it means to be in the hands of the universe.
A few of the souls I've met on the road have been incredible people, folks that I miraculously met when I needed an ally. People that I met only briefly, but that I know I will keep be in touch with for the rest of my life. People who are trying to see the bigger picture that I'm trying to see it.
I didn't plan to go deep into philosophy or higher meaning in this post, so I'd like to circle back around to what I had planned to share. As many of you know, I'll be heading to Seabreeze Farms tomorrow to begin my month long WWOOFing experience. If you don't know what WWOOF is, check out www.wwoof.org. I may have limited access to phone, email, Facebook, etc. while on the farm, so, since this blog post is already three weeks late, I wanted to share it with you now in case I can't do it later.
I had an old contract with myself to spend some time by myself from awhile back. I had no plans for my birthday really. I was on the west coast, no farming opportunities beating down the doors, no real obligations of any kind. My first thought was Tijuana. After all, what sounds more bad ass than spending your birthday in Tijuana?! Okay, how about alone? Didn't sound like a lot of fun. Okay, so I'm going to be alone on my birthday. What would you do? Camping. :) I was staying with a good friend, Sandy, in San Diego at the time, and as a former employee of REI, she had a TON of camping gear to offer me should I decide to spend a week roughing it with Mother Nature. It took me almost two whole days of looking at camping sites and state parks and bus lines and this-that-and-the-other before I concluded to camp on Catalina Island.
Catalina Island (thank you Wikipedia): Santa Catalina Island, often called Catalina Island, or just Catalina, is a rocky island off the coast of the U.S. state of California in the Gulf of Santa Catalina. The island is 22 miles (35 km) long and 8 miles (13 km) across at its greatest width. The island is located about 22 miles (35 km) south-southwest of Los Angeles, California. The highest point on the island is 2,097 feet (639 m) Mt. Orizaba. Part of the Channel Islands of California archipelago, Santa Catalina lies within Los Angeles County.
It was quite the adventure. I left San Diego at 5:30 a.m. on Monday, March 3rd, bussed, trained, taxied, and finally ferried my way to Avalon, the only thing big enough to be considered a city on Catalina Island. From Avalon I took a bus to the Airport in the Sky, a tiny airport in the central mountains of Catalina Island. From the airport, it was a long, strenuous six mile hike with all my gear to the camp site at Little Harbor. But once I was there, I was in an introvert's paradise. I was the only person to camp at the Little Harbor camp grounds for the four nights I was there. There was literally no one around for miles.
I had some pretty critical experiences at Little Harbor, mostly internally. I had never before achieved the kind of meditative clarity I did over those few days, and the things I learned about myself while I was out there are still coming into focus, some of them very slowly. Ironically, I read and wrote very little while at Little Harbor, but I did write a few things which I'll share with you here.
TOP TEN REASONS CAMPING ALONE IS AWESOME:
1) No one can tell you that you're building the fire wrong. (I am man, man creates fire. No one cares about tipi structure, or whatever.)
2) No one is around to hear you singing (or see you dancing to) JT songs.
3) No one is around to tell you it's too early to start drinking the rum. (How the hell am I supposed to know what time it is anyway?)
4) No one is around to be offended by your stench when you haven't showered for days. (Which actually a plus because it deters the wildlife from coming near your campsite.)
5) No one is around to tell you that the head lamp is not sexy. (Because we're bringing sexy back, dammit.)
6) The Port-O-John is always vacant. (And if it's rancid, guess who's fault it is?)
7) Every ranger that passes through thinks you're a badass for braving the wilderness on your own.
8) No one is around to laugh AT you do something stupid (like step in buffalo shit).
9) Say whatever ever you want, SCREAM whatever you at God, nature, life, etc. The people that DON'T care are miles and miles away....
10) You GET to face yourself, one-on-one, without intermediaries.
TOP TEN REASONS CAMPING ALONE SUCKS:
1) No one to help carry the burden of food, clothing and equipment for the six mile hike to the campsite.
2) No one to reassure you when you wake up from horrible nightmares induced by the foxes trying to get into your tent in the middle of the night.
3) When something happens that defies physics, there's no one around to whom you can say, "Did you just see that shit?!"
4) No one is impressed by your outdoor culinary skills... And you eat alone.
5) There's no one to snuggle with when it gets cold.
6) There is no one with whom to share the brilliant sunsets, sunrises, stars, and moons.
7) No matter how hard you try, words and pictures will never do the experience justice.
8) No one is around to laugh WITH you when you do something stupid (like step in buffalo shit).
9) Locals and other tourists who wander onto the campgrounds may think you're intriguing and mysterious, but mostly distrustful and possibly insane.
10) You MUST face yourself, one-on-one, without allies.
I found these revelations to be very eye opening (and hilarious). And so I went on to write this, as I made my way back to San Diego:
A COUPLE OF THINGS I LEARNED WHILE CAMPING ON CATALINA ISLAND:
1) Light your fire BEFORE you take a cold shower.
2) When hiking or kayaking, that structure you're aiming for is nowhere as close as you think it is... Don't get your hopes up thinking, "I'm almost there!" You're probably not.
3) In a pinch, sunscreen is a decent substitute for deodorant.
4) Get used to not knowing what time it is. Do everything in your own time. The only times that matter are sun-up, sun-down and the tide change.
5) No matter how hard the hike, how steep the climb, how rough the waves... you can succeed. Quiet the mind, give love and support to your body, and focus on the goal.
Evidently I didn't learn much more than that on the surface level, but I can't deny the philosophical implications of my experience. They may not seem like big changes here in language as I have described them, but I put forth that internally, something changed.
A few of the souls I've met on the road have been incredible people, folks that I miraculously met when I needed an ally. People that I met only briefly, but that I know I will keep be in touch with for the rest of my life. People who are trying to see the bigger picture that I'm trying to see it.
I didn't plan to go deep into philosophy or higher meaning in this post, so I'd like to circle back around to what I had planned to share. As many of you know, I'll be heading to Seabreeze Farms tomorrow to begin my month long WWOOFing experience. If you don't know what WWOOF is, check out www.wwoof.org. I may have limited access to phone, email, Facebook, etc. while on the farm, so, since this blog post is already three weeks late, I wanted to share it with you now in case I can't do it later.
I had an old contract with myself to spend some time by myself from awhile back. I had no plans for my birthday really. I was on the west coast, no farming opportunities beating down the doors, no real obligations of any kind. My first thought was Tijuana. After all, what sounds more bad ass than spending your birthday in Tijuana?! Okay, how about alone? Didn't sound like a lot of fun. Okay, so I'm going to be alone on my birthday. What would you do? Camping. :) I was staying with a good friend, Sandy, in San Diego at the time, and as a former employee of REI, she had a TON of camping gear to offer me should I decide to spend a week roughing it with Mother Nature. It took me almost two whole days of looking at camping sites and state parks and bus lines and this-that-and-the-other before I concluded to camp on Catalina Island.
Catalina Island (thank you Wikipedia): Santa Catalina Island, often called Catalina Island, or just Catalina, is a rocky island off the coast of the U.S. state of California in the Gulf of Santa Catalina. The island is 22 miles (35 km) long and 8 miles (13 km) across at its greatest width. The island is located about 22 miles (35 km) south-southwest of Los Angeles, California. The highest point on the island is 2,097 feet (639 m) Mt. Orizaba. Part of the Channel Islands of California archipelago, Santa Catalina lies within Los Angeles County.
It was quite the adventure. I left San Diego at 5:30 a.m. on Monday, March 3rd, bussed, trained, taxied, and finally ferried my way to Avalon, the only thing big enough to be considered a city on Catalina Island. From Avalon I took a bus to the Airport in the Sky, a tiny airport in the central mountains of Catalina Island. From the airport, it was a long, strenuous six mile hike with all my gear to the camp site at Little Harbor. But once I was there, I was in an introvert's paradise. I was the only person to camp at the Little Harbor camp grounds for the four nights I was there. There was literally no one around for miles.
I had some pretty critical experiences at Little Harbor, mostly internally. I had never before achieved the kind of meditative clarity I did over those few days, and the things I learned about myself while I was out there are still coming into focus, some of them very slowly. Ironically, I read and wrote very little while at Little Harbor, but I did write a few things which I'll share with you here.
TOP TEN REASONS CAMPING ALONE IS AWESOME:
1) No one can tell you that you're building the fire wrong. (I am man, man creates fire. No one cares about tipi structure, or whatever.)
2) No one is around to hear you singing (or see you dancing to) JT songs.
3) No one is around to tell you it's too early to start drinking the rum. (How the hell am I supposed to know what time it is anyway?)
4) No one is around to be offended by your stench when you haven't showered for days. (Which actually a plus because it deters the wildlife from coming near your campsite.)
5) No one is around to tell you that the head lamp is not sexy. (Because we're bringing sexy back, dammit.)
6) The Port-O-John is always vacant. (And if it's rancid, guess who's fault it is?)
7) Every ranger that passes through thinks you're a badass for braving the wilderness on your own.
8) No one is around to laugh AT you do something stupid (like step in buffalo shit).
9) Say whatever ever you want, SCREAM whatever you at God, nature, life, etc. The people that DON'T care are miles and miles away....
10) You GET to face yourself, one-on-one, without intermediaries.
TOP TEN REASONS CAMPING ALONE SUCKS:
1) No one to help carry the burden of food, clothing and equipment for the six mile hike to the campsite.
2) No one to reassure you when you wake up from horrible nightmares induced by the foxes trying to get into your tent in the middle of the night.
3) When something happens that defies physics, there's no one around to whom you can say, "Did you just see that shit?!"
4) No one is impressed by your outdoor culinary skills... And you eat alone.
5) There's no one to snuggle with when it gets cold.
6) There is no one with whom to share the brilliant sunsets, sunrises, stars, and moons.
7) No matter how hard you try, words and pictures will never do the experience justice.
8) No one is around to laugh WITH you when you do something stupid (like step in buffalo shit).
9) Locals and other tourists who wander onto the campgrounds may think you're intriguing and mysterious, but mostly distrustful and possibly insane.
10) You MUST face yourself, one-on-one, without allies.
I found these revelations to be very eye opening (and hilarious). And so I went on to write this, as I made my way back to San Diego:
A COUPLE OF THINGS I LEARNED WHILE CAMPING ON CATALINA ISLAND:
1) Light your fire BEFORE you take a cold shower.
2) When hiking or kayaking, that structure you're aiming for is nowhere as close as you think it is... Don't get your hopes up thinking, "I'm almost there!" You're probably not.
3) In a pinch, sunscreen is a decent substitute for deodorant.
4) Get used to not knowing what time it is. Do everything in your own time. The only times that matter are sun-up, sun-down and the tide change.
5) No matter how hard the hike, how steep the climb, how rough the waves... you can succeed. Quiet the mind, give love and support to your body, and focus on the goal.
Evidently I didn't learn much more than that on the surface level, but I can't deny the philosophical implications of my experience. They may not seem like big changes here in language as I have described them, but I put forth that internally, something changed.
Saturday, February 15, 2014
Quickie
Here's a quick story that I heard several years ago. I have no idea if it is true, but it is hilarious.
An older couple who are very traditional decide to get married. This is the second marriage for both of them, but they are both super conservative, so they've never had sex with each other. After a very small and intimate service, they hop in his car and begin the journey to Florida for their honeymoon. A few hours later, they arrive at the hotel, check in, and carry their luggage to the honeymoon suite. Once upstairs, the man is so excited that he immediately throws his bride on the bed and makes sweet love to her. When the deed is done, the man lights a cigarette and looks fondly at his bride. "That was AMAZING," he says. "And I could tell that you enjoyed it too! Every time I would thrust, I felt your toes curl up." He winks at his bride, beaming with pride. "Don't be so cocky," the woman replies. "You were in such a hurry, you forgot that I was wearing pantyhose."
An older couple who are very traditional decide to get married. This is the second marriage for both of them, but they are both super conservative, so they've never had sex with each other. After a very small and intimate service, they hop in his car and begin the journey to Florida for their honeymoon. A few hours later, they arrive at the hotel, check in, and carry their luggage to the honeymoon suite. Once upstairs, the man is so excited that he immediately throws his bride on the bed and makes sweet love to her. When the deed is done, the man lights a cigarette and looks fondly at his bride. "That was AMAZING," he says. "And I could tell that you enjoyed it too! Every time I would thrust, I felt your toes curl up." He winks at his bride, beaming with pride. "Don't be so cocky," the woman replies. "You were in such a hurry, you forgot that I was wearing pantyhose."
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