Here's a quick story that I heard several years ago. I have no idea if it is true, but it is hilarious.
An older couple who are very traditional decide to get married. This is the second marriage for both of them, but they are both super conservative, so they've never had sex with each other. After a very small and intimate service, they hop in his car and begin the journey to Florida for their honeymoon. A few hours later, they arrive at the hotel, check in, and carry their luggage to the honeymoon suite. Once upstairs, the man is so excited that he immediately throws his bride on the bed and makes sweet love to her. When the deed is done, the man lights a cigarette and looks fondly at his bride. "That was AMAZING," he says. "And I could tell that you enjoyed it too! Every time I would thrust, I felt your toes curl up." He winks at his bride, beaming with pride. "Don't be so cocky," the woman replies. "You were in such a hurry, you forgot that I was wearing pantyhose."
